Baby · Faith · Motherhood

Peace 

The most peaceful day of my life was the day my sweet Leighland girl was born. Her labor was natural and no medications were involved. From the moment she was born, I felt immediate peace. I knew everything was perfect and okay. God helped me through that labor and I don’t think I had ever relied on him like that before. It definitely prepared me for the road ahead as my year went downhill the next few months. 2016 was life changing for me, spiritually, mentally, emotionally. I know that in my weakness, he is strong. (2 Corinthians 12-9:11)

Within moments of Leigh’s birth, she was placed on my chest for skin to skin. We were able to connect for an hour before they cleaned her up and got her stats. Never have I been able to just “be” for that long but it felt so sweet and so special. I wasn’t the least bit antsy. Nothing on my mind but my beautiful baby and a precious gift from our Father.  

When the time came, the nurse took her stats and we got ready to transfer to a new room. My sister and husband stayed with us and the morning was beautiful. Leigh was born at 2:21 am. I felt like I could run a marathon after her birth! God (of course) knew what he was doing when he made our bodies. He made sure all sorts of happy things were released after labor and I’m so thankful! My body didn’t feel too terrible right after and I got away with a low dose of Tylenol until my nurse was in shock at what I was given and gave me something better. I guess I was in La La land because I wasn’t feeling the immense pain yet. Later, Leighland  met her sister, and I knew my whole world had changed. When evening snuck in and we were alone again, I felt calm. The night was slow and nurses came and went. My husband slept and I stayed up to hold my girl and watch the news every so often. The room was cool and everything was still. I wish I could describe the peace I still felt. Nothing but God could make me feel that way. He used Leighland to teach me so many things and that was just the beginning. My heart and spirit were growing. The news caster talked of storms so I walked to the window as the darkness began to shimmer with light. Snow fell and I couldn’t help but smile. The same thing had happened in the hospital with my first daughter. Again, I was overwhelmed with peace. Our hospital stay was 3 days and it felt like a dream. Everything went so perfectly. I kept telling my husband “God gave me this, this perfect experience” and it was a great way to start my new year. Leigh was born January 3rd, 2016. These moments happened exactly one year ago as I write this. We made it to a new year! A first birthday! My sweet girl is such a blessing and someday I’ll have to tell her of all our adventures of 2016. She was my best friend, always by my side. We haven’t had a night apart and she still smells of pure heaven. She taught me not to worry so much, she taught me how to let go more. She taught me to pause and ignore. She taught me patience and that crying CAN get louder. She taught me how to care for two babies, how to love each one. She taught me that her sister is the best big sister in the world and that she absolutely loves her. She taught me how to cuddle a little longer, smile a little wider, cry a little harder. She taught me that I get angry A LOT and helped me to pray about all the yuckiness inside me. She taught me that things are possible with one arm holding a baby, and hands are for holding. Schedules are good, bottles aren’t her thing. She CAN do what she wants and she’ll smack you if you disagree. She grew up so fast and furious but I couldn’t be happier because I know that she is excelling in everything she wants to be. She has taught me more than I could ever type out, add in her sister and I’d never leave this page! 

Thank you Lord for my sweet, beautiful, silly girls. My heart is filled daily with love, laughter and sometimes heartache but all the while, you bring me peace. Please help me to raise strong arrows in Jesus Christ, Girls and Women who love you and serve you. Please help me to be the mother you created me to be and wipe clean all the bad parts of me. Create a growing love in our hearts and send the Holy Spirit to guide us. All of my fears are in your hands and I rest in that. Please keep my girls and my family. Amen. 

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